Strange reaction during a night out; drinking, drugs, terrified. Compassion greatly appriciated;kinda long:?

Here is what happened: Yesterday I went out for a good day, I thought I was finnishing my day with a few beers and some tanning. I also bought a six-pack to bring home; unknown to me I had managed to drink several of the six (4 or 5); (I am 28, female, size 8, in fairly good health; if that helps to know?) I had also somehow forgotten to eat during the day and upon getting home I decided to do some pole dancing downstairs (pretty hard excersize really). Still feeling what I thought was fairly well I ended up somehow upset with my finacee and decided to take a walk; I ended up at a local bar drinking vodca martinis (I think I had two or three; I didn't have or spend much money). Anyway the bar was unusually full of collage kids; someone grabbed at my thong it freaked me out so I went to sit with two guys who looked closer to my age; they bought my last drink and asked if I wanted to get stoned (I quit smoking weed a while ago), but said yes anyway. We didn't leave sight of the bar (from my foggy recolection and I only took about two hits. upon getting back inside the building I could tell they were trying to close and out of no where I just wigged out; I started crying, I was confused I thought for some reason I had been assulted. . .I had my cell phone but insisted the bartender call my finacee and have him come and get me; he insisted that I had been within his sight the entire time I was there. Upon getting home I made my finacee examine my entire body for any signs of trama, none could be found. I examined my clothing for any weird scents and again nothing (other than the smell of tanning lotion); absolutly no indication what so ever that I had been harmed in any way yet for two hours upon getting home I was terrified with visions of being attacked by multiple guys. Upon waking up I was hardly hung over? And again my body did not feel as though I had come to any harm; so this is where the confusion comes in: What the hell caused the bizzaar reaction to whatever was in that pipe? (I thought it was just weed but maybe something else too?). I do have a history of childhood sex abuse and a few instances of rape since I was an adult (one particularly violent at 18). Is it possible I was thrown into a post-traumatic-stress state causing me to believe I was harmed/going to be harmed? The whole experience was quite frightening and I have been under a lot of stress latley as a new mom (she's nine months) and married lifestlyle. I am aware that alcohol is a problem for me and I am setting up what I need to do to address that issue (for me the answer is in martial arts; 12 step model programs work for some but not all) -see the agent orange pages before telling me I just havent found the right place please.

I guess I am just wondering what you guys might think have caused such a strange reaction to substances I ordinarly react to without (such) incidence? I greatly appriciate thoughtful and compassionate answers (please just skip me if you are going to say "just don't drink"; we are hear to help eachother arn't we)?

Thank You in advace for any insights relative to this incident or constructive non-12 step substance advice. Good Karma to those who help:)

-J.Strange reaction during a night out; drinking, drugs, terrified. Compassion greatly appriciated;kinda long:?
I'm sorry you're struggling with this.



Yes, something could have been in the pot. Not sure tho.



Since you have a history of sexual abuse, you might really want to consider some therapy if you haven't done so already.



I'd also suggest limiting your drinking to one or two -- some people have alcohol intolerances and allergies to it, and can have very bad experiences.



I sure hope things work out. and i'm sending you best wishes.
could be pstd i was raped at 21 this week it my anniversy date i go thru what you do i feel your pain i am going thru it too i care iam just a mess ill pray 4 you sonnds corny huh but it work good luck too you ,Strange reaction during a night out; drinking, drugs, terrified. Compassion greatly appriciated;kinda long:?
if you mix that much alcohol (especially different kinds) and have a history of sexual abuse, and get drunk, it's quite possible in your confused drunken stupor to freak out like that. being that drunk, you get hazy spots in your night, and you mentally fil those in. although upon filling those in, you know that you're drunk and vulnerable, and that it is quite possible at this time for someone to hurt you. it would be all too easy. you know this and you fill in the gaps of those hazy spots accordingly based on what has happened before.



i wish you the best of luck in your new life. i know it's all a huge transition-motherhood, engagement, married life. it's good that you're going to try to find a constructive out for all that, especially with your new baby girl. your life isn't over, so don't freak out, it's all a new adventure so don't drown it away. be constructive, be creative, and be a good sober mom. your daughter deserves and YOU deserve it and your fiance deserves it too. the answers aren't hiding in the bottom of any glass, so when you feel the need to drink, try to replace it with something else. instead of vodka, take a walk with your daughter or work on a scrapbook of her or clean or anything else that you like.get rid of all alcohol in the house and don't put yourself into social situations that will encourage you to drink, i.e. bars, clubs, etc. if you happen to be out with friends, drink juice instead. all bars have cranberry juice, right? and it's good for you. learn to cook. staying busy is always the key to kicking any habit. replace the time you spend doing destructive things by doing constructive things. plant a garden. find things to work on that bring you joy, keep you busy and healthy. occupy your time. stay strong. baby steps. good karma back to ya for being honest and making an effort!