Is this just asking for bad Karma?

Hi there,



I'm looking for honesty here but please don't be hurtful. I'm sure this question is bound to be polarizing.



So back in October my husband cheated on me. He had a one night stand with a woman he men at the bar. I was three months pregnant at the time. I also have a four year old (his child too). I've decided to stay with him for the time being. But, I have a plan.



I'm planing on leaving him, just not right away. I'm planning on staying with him until after the new baby's 1st birthday May 2012. About a year and a half from now. During this time I will be secretly stashing money and getting everything lined out for when it comes time to leave him.



I know this sounds cold hearted and probably pretty terrible. Here is the thing...I have always made it VERY clear to my husband that I wanted to stay home with my babies (especially when they are teenie). I feel like if I were to leave now I am going to miss out on so much during my baby's first year because I will inevitably be working. I also feel trapped in a way, I mean who wants to hire a pregnant woman in today's economy?



In the meantime, if my husband does do some serious changing I would be more than happy to stay with him indefinitely. But for now, he has reneged on counseling, going to church and many of the other "promises" he made me. I'm angry and hurt and feel like he is only getting what he deserves.



What do you think?Is this just asking for bad Karma?
Sounds like a woman to me. Two wrongs don't make a right. Hopefully someone does the same to you when you've wronged them.



That being said I think you have a good point. There aren't too many people who would hire a pregnant woman. You could be putting yourself and your child at risk.



Have you considered all of the options? Can you get child support and or alimony? Can you stay with friends or your parents? Can you work from home? Would your husband support you and your child even if you weren't married?



Karma isn't something that you can control. Karma is what karma does. You don't get to decide what karma is or isn't. You can't exact karma. Long story short revenge is never right or justified but I understand why you want to do what you want to do.



If you've picked a good husband we won't see you on the evening news.
Set a direction, not a goal, then you're not setting yourself up for disaster.
It seems like a mostly decent plan... but follow your heart.
Staying together "for the kids sake" never works out well for the kids (or the parents).
If you truly love each other, then maybe.Is this just asking for bad Karma?
Elisabeth Rondeau tromp茅e par Daniel Laplante

Daniel Laplante trompe Elisabeth Rondeau
A woman scorned,is indeed to be reckoned with.
Yes it does seem cold hearted but, if your husband is resistant to change, maybe you should leave.
typical american slags
Pray about it your answer will come.
I think you are a smart cookie! Make sure he doesn't figure out the stash. So make sure you don't have cheques that come to the house or bank statements. Talk to your bank and make sure that you pick-up your statements and paper stuff from the bank, never let them send you anything. You are doing what is best for you and your children and if it means you have to hang in there for a bit, do it. Just make sure that you insist (if he wants sex and you agree) that he uses a condom! Good Luck and sorry to hear what he did to you that is horrible
It sounds to me like your making the right decisions. Preparing for the worst, hoping for the best.



You already said if he straightens up you will stay. So your not DEFINATELY leaving. This is called a timeline. A plan. You are giving him a certain amount of time to straighten up and fly right. If he doesn't, you leave. I think you are handling it fine.
it's a good plan, but I suggest you get a joint account with him and if between now and then he cheats any more, you take him for all he's got, the law would be in your favor if he fought for custody, nevermind "karma" whatever is going to happen, will, you can only work through the bad times and enjoy the good, for now, just think about having a healthy baby and a good life with or without your husband.
from the beginning to the end you sound correct of what you need to do, and I like how you said if he's willing to change then you will decide to stay with him, sounds fair enough, if he's not willing to change and cheating on you why should you stay with him, but if he does change and you know he has changed but you are finding an excuse to leave him it's not a good thing to go with your plan.