Do you think this is just wrong? Am I asking for bad karma?

Hi there,



I'm looking for honesty here but please don't be hurtful. I'm sure this question is bound to be polarizing.



So back in October my husband cheated on me. He had a one night stand with a woman he men at the bar. I was three months pregnant at the time. I also have a four year old (his child too). I've decided to stay with him for the time being. But, I have a plan.



I'm planing on leaving him, just not right away. I'm planning on staying with him until after the new baby's 1st birthday May 2012. About a year and a half from now. During this time I will be secretly stashing money and getting everything lined out for when it comes time to leave him.



I know this sounds cold hearted and probably pretty terrible. Here is the thing...I have always made it VERY clear to my husband that I wanted to stay home with my babies (especially when they are teenie). I feel like if I were to leave now I am going to miss out on so much during my baby's first year because I will inevitably be working. I also feel trapped in a way, I mean who wants to hire a pregnant woman in today's economy?



In the meantime, if my husband does do some serious changing I would be more than happy to stay with him indefinitely. But for now, he has reneged on counseling, going to church and many of the other "promises" he made me. I'm angry and hurt and feel like he is only getting what he deserves.



What do you think?Do you think this is just wrong? Am I asking for bad karma?
Every woman should have a plan!
A plan is great but I don't totally like this one. The longer you stay the more attached the kids become to the jerk. It will be harder to take them away at that point. I'd leave now.Do you think this is just wrong? Am I asking for bad karma?
Why don't you just get out now? You are playing games with yourself and your kids. If this isn't the guy for you, then you need to get to living the life you want to live and don't delay it.
I'm a guy. This is actually a very good plan to me because it isn't absolute as long as he doesn't be an idiot. You got balls (Metaphorically not physically - that would be strange.) Good for you.
Elisabeth Rondeau tromp茅e par Daniel Laplante

Daniel Laplante trompe Elisabeth Rondeau
I think what you're doing is good and smart. Stay strong!
Excellent plan. I did the same thing. You have more time, so you can be more financially creative. You look out for you. I had a twinge of guilt too, and thats what this lady at work told me. Once youre alone, he's not going to care. You look out for you. He broke the bond.

You can get really creative with your online finances.

Dont have a traceable "single" bank account at the time of the divorce, in case, they run a check on your Soc Sec.

I even used Paypal to pay myself money.

Best thing tho is returning items for cash.
"I have always made it VERY clear to my husband that I wanted to stay home with my babies "



So you will stay with a man who disrespects you for money basically? Good thinking. It won't work though, but nice thought. You will end up trapped in a cycle of infidelity and he will remain as he is because you stay.
I just wonder if he doesnt feel like hes stuck like in a rut. If u leave or he tells u to leave he is going to b stuck with child support so the ball is in your hands, u tell him u have not seen any of the promises and nothings changed so u r looking for other options now and u watch him get scared. A person who doesnt change is not afraid of u and feels like u arent going to force a change in him. Go to church without him and see a therapist without him and let him know u r going.
Just plain smart. You need support while you are pregnant.

Get creative with the money stashing.

Hope you can stand the jerk while your plan comes together. After all pregnant women shouldn't have sex, right???

BTW have you made sure he did not contract ,and possible pass, an STD to you?
It's not bad karma.



But what are u going to do if he happens to leave u before u even give birth.



It's always great to have a Plan A, but make a Plan B!!!!!!!!! pleease!!!!



and yes, i agree, it is also SO HARD to work when ur pregnant. I had to quit school/work becuz of severe morning sickness.



Good plan, just be careful.

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