Then he took a few bites and said "this is nasty dad can I have something else." My wife gets angry and makes him eat more. He says how his stomach hurts but she says a few more bites. At this point he's in tears and the entire mood is just dead and sad. I didn't want to undermine her in front of him but I really didn't see the big deal in giving him something else. But nope he continues to eat then it happens BARF! I blame all the Parmesan. My wife didn't show any remorse which was uncharacteristic. She just made him clean up and go inside.
At night still pissed at my wife I told him "Mommy should have apologized to you, I'm sure she's sorry she was just mad that you wasted food after her warning. If you ever feel sick and me or mommy aren't listening you don't have to listen either ok." Something like that (can't remember word for word may have been worse.) I just remember I was kind of throwing my wife under the bus. She still hasn't apologized though and feels like she shouldn't. I told her what I did and she got seriously pissed saying I always play the "nice parent" role.
Do you think I did the right thing? Do you think my wife should apologize to our son?Moms: Would you be pissed at your husband for this?
You see where she was to blame quite accurately. But you don't see your part in this little charade. If you were two parents who typically worked as a TEAM and you didn't want to see your son get sick, you would have handled the situation differently I suspect. You might have seen him adding all that crazy stuff and asked him to stop and think. Ex: "Son, your mother has said that you are going to have to eat whatever you make. Ranch and doritos and beef don't sound like a very tasty mix. Are you sure you don't want to experiment on just a small part of the burger?"
Instead, you encouraged him to treat his dinner like "fun and games" and a science experiment AGAINST YOUR WIFE'S EXPRESS WISHES. Then, when she followed through on her word (which I agree with in general, but not as far as forcing a kid to eat such as in this situation) you played good cop- bad cop and in your own words, THREW HER UNDER THE BUS.
You are a grown-up. Your son is not. Your wife is a grown-up. Your son is not. Next time you see him setting himself up for trouble by going against her wishes why not save him and you and your wife from a needless argument by supporting your wife BEFORE the damage is done?
You're as much to blame for this situation as she is. You should apologize to your son as well. Here, I'll give you the words, "Son, as I told you, I don't like that Mommy made you eat that food until you were sick. But I also don't like how I behaved. Mommy told you ahead of time to only make what you were willing to eat. I shouldn't have gone against her because I know your mommy loves you very much and only wants what is best for you. I should have told you not to add all those funny ingredients. I'm a grown-up and probably would have known they would make you sick if I'd thought about it. From now on maybe both you and I should try to listen to mommy more, eh sport?"
One day your son won't be 8 anymore. It sure won't be fun to have him playing you two against each other when he's a teen. Not to mention how your marriage to your wife will suffer. Sleeping on the couch ring a bell?
Good luck. Happy New Year. :)
Edit: And I agree with Greenbay, too.
"i SEEN him"?!??
you = stump jumping dirt floor gap toothed sisterfucking hillbilly.Moms: Would you be pissed at your husband for this?
Wow lmao "The unnecessary" hahahahaha funny kid.
I think shes unwell.
*edit*
I think shes slightly unwell maybe depression or delusions. But you may be causing it.
She went overboard-kid will NEVER attempt 2have FUN with his family and/or b himself! How sad 4mom she needs help!
You did the right thing and she needs to seek professional help.
Why didn't you teach him how to do it right way... than letting him to put all that crap and then putting more crap on the buns.. but you know... you should have explain to him that if he did that it would make your tummy hurt and not gonna taste right... I would say it your fault... because you let him do this... You should tell your son... Sorry son, it my fault not your mommy... I should of told you the right way... and explain you better why it didn't sound good with A1, Thousand Island, and BBQ with Ranch... really it you "Daddy" Fault not the Mommy fault...
You should Apologized your Son and your Wife... Sorry, I have 6 kids of my own if they want to make like yours.. I make sure I explain to make sure to taste right and stuff...
But one thing made me laugh I like when he call his Burger "The Unnecessary." it tells you that it not that good LOL... You have a very bright Son... I hope you understand that....
I would have given him something else to eat in the moment, and eaten the burger myself instead. Did you apologize to your son for not doing that? What makes your wife's opinions so important in the moment, but not when you're talking to your kid later?
I would tell your wife that you're sorry you hurt her feelings and see why she feels that way, but that she needs to be less controlling. You were giving him the go ahead to be creative and fun, and she had no reason or right to spoil that.
Good luck.
Sounds like she carried it a little bit to far.. Maybe next time, give him choices of what sauces to use and don't let him use them all
yes of course. he is a child and was using an 8 year olds logic.
he learned that having fun sometimes doesnt agree with our bodies.
bible says ''when i was a child i thought as a child, i spake as a child, now i am an adult and have put away childish things''.
your wife let him get sick over a little bit of hamburger meat.
she should be ashamed of herself.
First of all your son knew he was acting a fool he put you to the test acting silly,goofy all kid's do this.
I know it's hard but a vaulable lesson your boy learned that when mama says no she means it..
He also learned daddy will not stick to his word and will go aganist mommy for him...this is not good!
You told the child you will undermind mama you made a poor choice in parenting..
Maybe your wife took it a little too far but she was trying to teach your son a lesson. I didn't read anything about you trying to stop your son from wasting all that food. You say you blame all the parmesan but it's obvious you blame your wife. The reality is that your wife saw an opportunity to teach him something in a way that he would learn from it. In the end your son is still healthy and growing normally and might have learned a good lesson had you not made your wife out to be wrong for teaching him. Truth is the more your son learns now the better off he will be later in life. Take it from one who knows.
It is never right for one parent to go against the other in any way, to or in front of a child. If you and your wife disagree you work it out between the two of you and leave the child out of it. Your son probably feels like he was wronged now. Had you not had your talk with him, he would probably have gotten over it within an hour or two and learned something. As is, you've given him reason to resent and not trust one of his parents and ruined anything he might have learned from the whole incident.
I agree with greenbay and think you are the one who owes both of them an apology.
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