So I met a guy this past weekend. It was a mutual friends birthday, and he introduced us. However I already noticed him because the second I walked in the room we made eye contact and it was magnetic. I don't think thats ever happened before to me that instantly. So I tried to play it cool.
I kept noticing he was looking at me for a while, So when I looked at him and made him aware I knew he was staring he flagged me over. He asked me for my number and we started talking a while at this bar. Then I began to mingle with people I knew and hadn't seen in a while.
He starting sending me texts, like "come talk to me" "your so sexy" and funny little ones about how our high school teams were rivals. So then everyone decided to go to our friends house when the bar closed. He had a few beers so I drove his car and a couple of our friends sat in the back.
Well I had so much fun with him. we completely hit it off..we got to my friends house and towards the early morning went into the br for a steamy makeout session. he tried to do more but I told him I just met him. But we kept laughing and having so much fun for the rest of the night. I havnt felt that kind of connection with someone in a while.
Then we all quickly realized there was going to be no place to sleep. so I offered to drive back to my apartment and him and his friend stayed over. well as we are getting into my apartment I get a text from someone telling me he has a girlfriend!
I confront him, and he admits it, and says "its an on and off thing" I told him I couldnt continue to kiss him, and thats all that was going to happen because I believe in karma and I just dont think its right.
He apologized and said I was one of the coolest women hes ever met in his entire journey of life and he hope that this wasnt a speed bump in something I really liked..I dont really even know what that means.
well when I woke up him and him friend were gone to work, and I had a text from him saying he had a lot of fun, and we wrote back and fourth a little and then left it as goodbye.
well now I cant get him out of my head. Im just wondering if I handled it well because he kept trying to kiss me, and I made him sleep on the couch and went to bed..Is he worth pursuing? Or should I just brush him off as a jerk and forget him..Need Advice..PLEASE.?
well it's sounds as if he should of at least mentioned his girlfriend to you. I can't tell you what to do but i can only say it's what you really think deep down, what you felt that night and if it was really something. I would seriously think long and hard before making that choice.
Hope this helps
Monday, March 12, 2012
Losing "the one" i love...hanging one or letting go?
Here is the long story:I dated this guy John for two times:once in 2008 and once in 2009-2010.We were best friends until our recent break up. The dating in 2008 was for 4 months and in 2009-Feb 2010 was 6 months.Yet somehow I fell in love with him and vice versa. He was there for me when I was dealing with my 4 yr relationship fiasco and saw me cry and laugh and was there for me at midnight to help me with essays.The guy that I dated for almost 4 yrs and I called it off in June 2009.After that I started dating John shortly.Everything was okay but then I became sick and pregnant with his child which I did not tell him,my ex helped me when I had a miscariage since my ex of 4 yrs and I were best friends and still are,John thought I was cheating on him so he went and slept with this girl for 3 times when I was not there for him for 3 weeks(dealing with finding out I was 6 weeks pregnant) when his uncle passed away and he had a small accident(found all this stuff out when he was drunk). I was not there for him but the girl he met he had a connection with because even months later I found out that they were texting when he was not letting me check the time on his Karma(cell phone) and was paranoid when I kissed him in front of his sister,etc. Anyhow in Feb I sort of had enough because my grades were going down the drain and I had a nervous break down.He never knew abt the miscariage I had which sort of left me depressed, I went to our mutual friend in tears and said that I could not take it anymore and that I was thinking abt breaking up with him.She was meeting up with him the very same day to get a book back from him and before I could tell her do not say anything to him because I need to talk with him he calls and we break up.I saw him 1 week later,gave him a bracelet he gave me,a 20 page letter and we exchanged apologies.After that I hit rock bottom,I could not study for 2 weeks,lost 10 lbs, cried myself to sleep and it was really bad.I finally pulled myself together and started making A's and B's.5-6 weeks later I ran into him when at the same bar he goes to while with friends.We ignored each other as though we had no idea who we were which broke my heart and my guyfriend I was with was playing with my ex's emotions by giving me a kiss on the cheek.
Soon after my friend and I went to the same bar again to celebrate our good grades etc and have a girls night out and I step outside,he is abt to leave. I call after him,ask him if he would like to join me for coffee or catch up and he said no then vents off for at least 20 minutes. I listened to everything he had to say abt the break up and his life:his dad having lung cancer and losing his job,school(grad),work,helping his familye,etc. He kissed me then proposed which I at first was a joke but then realized he was serious so I accepted.In the past he proposed but I turned him down because life was always chaotic and now life for me was good. I was introduced to his father as his fiance and his father gave us his blessing, we talked that night until 3 am as though nothing happened and he kept telling me how much he loves me,he gave me back the bracelet I gave him after the break up and saw that the letter I gave him he had and a bracelet from 2008 he still possessed. In the morning he had to run errands a few hrs later I receive a call from him wanting to talk with me abt how we rushed into things last night and how he wants to be friends.I agreed. We called each other the following days especially him.So we were on terms of friends,I called him a couple of times to wish him Happy Good Friday and Happy Easter and just see how he is doing etc but he was not in a talkative mood. Anyhow I found out that he went after my best friend 6 weeks after the break up,he converted to islam then asked her how she felt abt him which well she did not feel the same way as he did:she saw him as a friend. He then asked my friend(best friend) which is also a mutual friend abt her friend Joy and how she feels abt him.I just found this out recently.Also one of my good friends started dating one of his friends(who does not like him yet hangs out in the same group of ppl because of his sister-ex's).So Thursday of this week I hung out with my friend, her date(ex's friend who does not like him), and a couple of good friends of the ex's.Okay all of my ex's friends see me as the ****** or devil or something.So I was myself and cordial and had conversations and was polite.After some of the friends left this one friend oif my ex's well he starts to hit on me and we start talking.So I am thinking "This is so not good..I cannot date his friend"..Plus last week I met this other guy while celebrating my friend's 22nd b-day and we hit it off instantly right away..I still think am in love with my ex but have not spoken with him ever since Easter.I am not sure if it is worth waiting for him or if it is okay to hang out with his friends as my friend Losing "the one" i love...hanging one or letting go?
I'm not reading all that, but good luck.
Soon after my friend and I went to the same bar again to celebrate our good grades etc and have a girls night out and I step outside,he is abt to leave. I call after him,ask him if he would like to join me for coffee or catch up and he said no then vents off for at least 20 minutes. I listened to everything he had to say abt the break up and his life:his dad having lung cancer and losing his job,school(grad),work,helping his familye,etc. He kissed me then proposed which I at first was a joke but then realized he was serious so I accepted.In the past he proposed but I turned him down because life was always chaotic and now life for me was good. I was introduced to his father as his fiance and his father gave us his blessing, we talked that night until 3 am as though nothing happened and he kept telling me how much he loves me,he gave me back the bracelet I gave him after the break up and saw that the letter I gave him he had and a bracelet from 2008 he still possessed. In the morning he had to run errands a few hrs later I receive a call from him wanting to talk with me abt how we rushed into things last night and how he wants to be friends.I agreed. We called each other the following days especially him.So we were on terms of friends,I called him a couple of times to wish him Happy Good Friday and Happy Easter and just see how he is doing etc but he was not in a talkative mood. Anyhow I found out that he went after my best friend 6 weeks after the break up,he converted to islam then asked her how she felt abt him which well she did not feel the same way as he did:she saw him as a friend. He then asked my friend(best friend) which is also a mutual friend abt her friend Joy and how she feels abt him.I just found this out recently.Also one of my good friends started dating one of his friends(who does not like him yet hangs out in the same group of ppl because of his sister-ex's).So Thursday of this week I hung out with my friend, her date(ex's friend who does not like him), and a couple of good friends of the ex's.Okay all of my ex's friends see me as the ****** or devil or something.So I was myself and cordial and had conversations and was polite.After some of the friends left this one friend oif my ex's well he starts to hit on me and we start talking.So I am thinking "This is so not good..I cannot date his friend"..Plus last week I met this other guy while celebrating my friend's 22nd b-day and we hit it off instantly right away..I still think am in love with my ex but have not spoken with him ever since Easter.I am not sure if it is worth waiting for him or if it is okay to hang out with his friends as my friend Losing "the one" i love...hanging one or letting go?
I'm not reading all that, but good luck.
What to do (unless u should just keep ur mouth shut) about withdrawing $ from an account & not be charged?
Okay, so my co-worker/friend buys and sells stuff online. He sold a video system for roughly $120. The payment was held for a week or two to make sure the buyer was happy with the product before releasing the money to him. So finally - a couple days ago the hold was released and he withdrew like $80 via ATM, spent $3 at a bar that was ran a Credit on his Debit card, and spent like $10 at a store that ran it as Debit. So - he's roughly keeping track and should have $25-$30 left, right? [120-80=40 -3=37 -10=$27] So he went the following day to take out $20 via ATM again... the machine gave it to him and his receipt and he (thankfully!) glanced at it and saw the remaining balance was over $90 after taking out that $20!
So - here's where it gets confusing!! He went right home and checked his account like always and it didn't show ANY transactions since the $120 was put in the account but says it's current as of right then. So we were thinking ok, the site is just messed up... oooh no! I looked at his receipts. After his first $80 withdrawl it showed his remaining balance was about $40. So, after looking at the amounts on his receipts (which there were only like 5) we realized that - down to the penny - after the first $80 was withdrawn and it showed us the $40 left - it MAGICALLY refilled itself to the $120 it had been before the withdrawl!!! And the last $20 withdrawl and $3 bar credit had been subtracted from this Refilled balance, but not the debit purchase he'd made at the store. So he (like many, many of us, went, "WOO HOO!" and took out as much as he could.
And still, almost 24 hours later, there's still no transactions showing on his account. He said he's going to try another withdrawl after work and see if it refilled again. So obviously he didn't wanna do any asking the site's Help people cuz if they don't notice - score for him... (don't judge! this could be good Karma he's earned) Has ANYONE ever had this happen, know why, anything?
PS - if it were like A LOT of money he wouldn't be that brave to keep it, but $100 magically appearing in your account is pretty helpful now-a-days.
Thanks Guys! :-)What to do (unless u should just keep ur mouth shut) about withdrawing $ from an account %26amp; not be charged?
It can take a few days for everything to get properly registered. The ATM he withdrew his money from probably just has not sent it through.
He should not spend the money if his records show it is not there. Doing so will overdraw his account, and he will have overdraft fees to pay. He really needs to go by his records, not the banks. If it still shows a difference after a few days, then he needs to contact the bank to find out what is going on.
They'll come for their money eventually.What to do (unless u should just keep ur mouth shut) about withdrawing $ from an account %26amp; not be charged?
Don't think he has hit the jackpot. Apparently there is glitch somewhere in the system. It will be found eventually and he will have to pay back anything he took out over what he should have had in the first place,along with any penalties for an overdraft.
Doesn't matter how much extra money appears in the account magically. It doesn't belong to him and is considered theft.
So - here's where it gets confusing!! He went right home and checked his account like always and it didn't show ANY transactions since the $120 was put in the account but says it's current as of right then. So we were thinking ok, the site is just messed up... oooh no! I looked at his receipts. After his first $80 withdrawl it showed his remaining balance was about $40. So, after looking at the amounts on his receipts (which there were only like 5) we realized that - down to the penny - after the first $80 was withdrawn and it showed us the $40 left - it MAGICALLY refilled itself to the $120 it had been before the withdrawl!!! And the last $20 withdrawl and $3 bar credit had been subtracted from this Refilled balance, but not the debit purchase he'd made at the store. So he (like many, many of us, went, "WOO HOO!" and took out as much as he could.
And still, almost 24 hours later, there's still no transactions showing on his account. He said he's going to try another withdrawl after work and see if it refilled again. So obviously he didn't wanna do any asking the site's Help people cuz if they don't notice - score for him... (don't judge! this could be good Karma he's earned) Has ANYONE ever had this happen, know why, anything?
PS - if it were like A LOT of money he wouldn't be that brave to keep it, but $100 magically appearing in your account is pretty helpful now-a-days.
Thanks Guys! :-)What to do (unless u should just keep ur mouth shut) about withdrawing $ from an account %26amp; not be charged?
It can take a few days for everything to get properly registered. The ATM he withdrew his money from probably just has not sent it through.
He should not spend the money if his records show it is not there. Doing so will overdraw his account, and he will have overdraft fees to pay. He really needs to go by his records, not the banks. If it still shows a difference after a few days, then he needs to contact the bank to find out what is going on.
They'll come for their money eventually.What to do (unless u should just keep ur mouth shut) about withdrawing $ from an account %26amp; not be charged?
Don't think he has hit the jackpot. Apparently there is glitch somewhere in the system. It will be found eventually and he will have to pay back anything he took out over what he should have had in the first place,along with any penalties for an overdraft.
Doesn't matter how much extra money appears in the account magically. It doesn't belong to him and is considered theft.
What do you do when it feels like your whole world is crashing around you?
So, I was diagnosed bipolar type 1 in Summer '05 after a tough year of high school. Got treated in-patient, put on the right medications, and life was gravy from '06-'08. Fast forward to today and things are on very shaky grounds. I've been meeting with a therapist from '08 once a week who is the only person that really understands me. I had a great Federal job for a year (I'm finishing up my last year at college), but I resigned because the work was mind-numbingly dull and I couldn't stand the bureaucrats, plus I wanted to get into an artistic field as opposed to a government position. Now, with the job market the way it is, I probably should have stayed. I've either cut ties with all of my friends or I have enraged them by isolating myself that I am their prime enemy. I had dated girls I met offline and other places but none of those worked out due to what I think are my personality flaws. My whole family is questioning what will happen with my life as they see all I'm concerned with is going to school, making films for class, and sleeping. I'm taking all medications as prescribed, but I'm afraid to change to different pills because I fear my condition may worsen and I'll totally lose control.
I've overheard on a few occasions (not being paranoid) some students in my class dissing me and generally showing disgust towards me when I do my best to show total respect to everyone in class. It seems as much as I want to come across as the 'good guy' and 'the nice guy' all 'happy inside' and hide my inner turmoil, people seem to hate me anyway. I got thrown out of a bar by force because I was misidentified by a bouncer for drinking out of a 'ladies only' cup. I sued the bar and settled for 200 dollars. A girl I slept with who used to date my friend said she would only continue to sleep with me if I paid her or did things for her, which enraged me. My older brother told me not to fix my brakes because they were perfectly fine and I heeded his advice, but got into an accident which ended up heavily damaging my car. Nonetheless, he hates me even more now, everyone is blaming me for everything, and mother thinks I am just jealous of all my brother's accomplishments. Oh, and I met a girl who I took on a date and found more/less "hot," came over to her house on the next day for a party...and got stuck in the snow with my damaged car so i had to walk home 6 miles, only when I got back she sent me 3 text messages listing all the ways in which I angered/disgusted her because I was stupid and could not keep up with her at playing "Cranium, which means you're not on my same level. Sorry. Bye, bye now."
As you can see, staying focused on making films is hard with so much drama in my life right now, but I feel it's the only thing that can save my nervous system from a breakdown. I'm just so troubled why all of a sudden things have gotten bad for me. I'm a really nice guy. I recently (few months ago) became a Christian, I love God, and I have always believed in treating others in the same way that you want them to treat you. I can get angry at times at home, but in public people have said I have a very positive attitude and cheerful personality, never seeming too down. What is it about me that could be causing people to dislike me in such a strong manner? What are these vibes and energies that could cause a friend of 11 years to suddenly proclaim his sheer and utter hate for me? Is it karma? Please, I am begging anyone for help because my whole world: from my mother, father, brother, to my college classmates, all my friends, random people that I'm meeting....people have such strong hate for me that graduating college seems fruitless if my entire life will involve these ups and downs of normalcy and insanity that are all out of my control. I have no money, no friends, no job, just apathy along with apparently no social skills (even though I've had quite a few girlfriends) and also I'm kind of overly talkative. Any feedback would be much appreciated...because when there's nothing worse than being lonely/isolated and sad.What do you do when it feels like your whole world is crashing around you?
Don't be afraid of med changes. The are required frequently for some people. I have been through many, many changes. Eventually you will find the combination that works. Just keep working with your doctor and stay open-minded to med changes. They have a few new meds out now that can really help.
hang in there man, hang in there.
keep trying your best to maintain, its about all you can do now.What do you do when it feels like your whole world is crashing around you?
I like you.
Get used to the fact that we are judged constantly by others and we also judge others. We as humans cannot avoid it as we consult our writing on our walls constantly and if it does not fit to our judgment what the other does we judge. You do it, I do it everyone does it. Get used to it. You are just fine!
You are as insane and as beautiful as me and everybody else.
if people think you have a really good life, they are probably not going to feel too sorry for you. They'll be like "get over yourself..we all have problems!" That's probably why they treat you that way.
But i understand what you mean, i feel like a witch sometimes, like, i go somewhere and i cause total chaos just by being there. Im always "the other one". But maybe its just my own negative thinking that's causing me to feel this way.
I don't think anything is wrong with you. Possibly, after losing your friend of 11 years you got paranoid. You seem like a nice, smart guy, so it doesn't make sense that so many people would treat you that way. Either there's something going on that you don't see, or you're perceiving people and their reactions to you incorrectly. Maybe you feel flawed since you're friend of many years "hates" you, and you assume that everyone else hates you as well. My only advice is to continue to be kind and hard working, and hopefully you'll meet the right people and things will get better for you.greyhound tickets nada boats
I've overheard on a few occasions (not being paranoid) some students in my class dissing me and generally showing disgust towards me when I do my best to show total respect to everyone in class. It seems as much as I want to come across as the 'good guy' and 'the nice guy' all 'happy inside' and hide my inner turmoil, people seem to hate me anyway. I got thrown out of a bar by force because I was misidentified by a bouncer for drinking out of a 'ladies only' cup. I sued the bar and settled for 200 dollars. A girl I slept with who used to date my friend said she would only continue to sleep with me if I paid her or did things for her, which enraged me. My older brother told me not to fix my brakes because they were perfectly fine and I heeded his advice, but got into an accident which ended up heavily damaging my car. Nonetheless, he hates me even more now, everyone is blaming me for everything, and mother thinks I am just jealous of all my brother's accomplishments. Oh, and I met a girl who I took on a date and found more/less "hot," came over to her house on the next day for a party...and got stuck in the snow with my damaged car so i had to walk home 6 miles, only when I got back she sent me 3 text messages listing all the ways in which I angered/disgusted her because I was stupid and could not keep up with her at playing "Cranium, which means you're not on my same level. Sorry. Bye, bye now."
As you can see, staying focused on making films is hard with so much drama in my life right now, but I feel it's the only thing that can save my nervous system from a breakdown. I'm just so troubled why all of a sudden things have gotten bad for me. I'm a really nice guy. I recently (few months ago) became a Christian, I love God, and I have always believed in treating others in the same way that you want them to treat you. I can get angry at times at home, but in public people have said I have a very positive attitude and cheerful personality, never seeming too down. What is it about me that could be causing people to dislike me in such a strong manner? What are these vibes and energies that could cause a friend of 11 years to suddenly proclaim his sheer and utter hate for me? Is it karma? Please, I am begging anyone for help because my whole world: from my mother, father, brother, to my college classmates, all my friends, random people that I'm meeting....people have such strong hate for me that graduating college seems fruitless if my entire life will involve these ups and downs of normalcy and insanity that are all out of my control. I have no money, no friends, no job, just apathy along with apparently no social skills (even though I've had quite a few girlfriends) and also I'm kind of overly talkative. Any feedback would be much appreciated...because when there's nothing worse than being lonely/isolated and sad.What do you do when it feels like your whole world is crashing around you?
Don't be afraid of med changes. The are required frequently for some people. I have been through many, many changes. Eventually you will find the combination that works. Just keep working with your doctor and stay open-minded to med changes. They have a few new meds out now that can really help.
hang in there man, hang in there.
keep trying your best to maintain, its about all you can do now.What do you do when it feels like your whole world is crashing around you?
I like you.
Get used to the fact that we are judged constantly by others and we also judge others. We as humans cannot avoid it as we consult our writing on our walls constantly and if it does not fit to our judgment what the other does we judge. You do it, I do it everyone does it. Get used to it. You are just fine!
You are as insane and as beautiful as me and everybody else.
if people think you have a really good life, they are probably not going to feel too sorry for you. They'll be like "get over yourself..we all have problems!" That's probably why they treat you that way.
But i understand what you mean, i feel like a witch sometimes, like, i go somewhere and i cause total chaos just by being there. Im always "the other one". But maybe its just my own negative thinking that's causing me to feel this way.
I don't think anything is wrong with you. Possibly, after losing your friend of 11 years you got paranoid. You seem like a nice, smart guy, so it doesn't make sense that so many people would treat you that way. Either there's something going on that you don't see, or you're perceiving people and their reactions to you incorrectly. Maybe you feel flawed since you're friend of many years "hates" you, and you assume that everyone else hates you as well. My only advice is to continue to be kind and hard working, and hopefully you'll meet the right people and things will get better for you.
Are these are my confessions? Emotional complexities?
I feel nothing.
I was deathly ill on Wednesday. I came down with a cold and a fever. I snuggled to a valentines day bear for support. I always toted about having this ridiculously wonderful immunity to germs. I jinxed myself. Like an idiot. I decided to make a good decision and get shitfaced. I’ve had a sickness brewing inside me for a while. Self destruction should have its own title of mental disorder like alcoholism. I’ve never been the best sport when it came to drinking. Somehow I go from sober to stupid in just a few minutes. It’s very hard to gauge. This week I discovered the cure for the common cold is alcohol poisoning. If you can tolerate one day of total stomach torture, you’ll save 4 days on a cold. Bravo! I deserve an award. I don’t know how one night of drinking did this for me. It turns out, past that one day of total body purge, my emotions and spiritual outlook on everything changed abruptly. I was happy?
Actually, at first, I was terrified. May’ve been the hangover. The way the mind remolds after a temporary annihilation. I cried all day, I felt suicidal as if this part of me was slipping away. As if I lost my right arm, or an organic functional body part providing life. Yet as the day moved in its path, I started seeking counseling from my friends and saying sayings and asking questions I never did before. This strength built up inside me. A callous of an emotional wound I developed. I stopped crying. I stopped shaking. I threw up two more times. And then there was nothing…..
I don’t know if you’d call it happy. I’ve never been happy. Everyone knows I play my self-pity card as a food stamp to force friendships and conversations. Maybe somewhere between the whiskey shots, the pitcher chugging, the hitting on random guys and girls, the bar night and drunken charade I realized I’m something better than I thought I was, and it took a little sobering to adjust the shift. The mind works in mysterious ways.
The night of the tirade, I wore a thin snow cheetah Barbie dress, with red lipstick and high heels. I went to the bar with my wench of boyfriend. He didn’t want to be there. He hated my free love, socially experimental, conversational approach I take when I drink. Well, I guess it’s annoying. I don’t know. I may’ve embarrassed him in front of his friends. I may’ve made him feel like a loser because I was flirtatious. I may’ve just been an idiot, and belittled him. I may’ve gotten belligerent, childish, and vile. Yet, I think back and remember these are the same things he’s been doing to me for the past three years. These are things we’ve shoved under the rug in our relationship house of cards, and pretended never happened. Karma is a *****, and I’m not sorry. In fact, I feel justified. For once, I totally one hundred percent did not care what he thought. I am thinking about me, and I just needed a shiny example of hypocrisy to push me in the right direction.
I’ve been stressed over our relationship. I’ve been stressed that, no matter how hard I try; he will never budge on his inability to become a man. I’ve been in this crux between obsession love and my oppressed desires. I’ve always been the giver in this relationship, without nothing but empty promises in return. I realize, my relationship is in the same place it is when it started 3 years ago.
Yet now I don’t feel sorry for myself, and I’m not mad at him. I don’t feel motivated to write this out of a whim of tyranny about my radical oppression. I don’t feel I’m standing in a window about to jump from the high castle of capture. I feel I’m now embracing myself, and have shattered a glass leash I’ve held the handle to for years. Yes ladies, we keep ourselves on these leashes.
There has been something inside of me keeping myself down. While an obnoxious nuisance in a relationship is simply a maggot in the corpse. I’ve been doing some soul searching. I’ve come to my own conclusions.
I wish I had the answers to the questions. Is it possible that an obsession of so long can just disappear? Have these desires to just break free been building, yet I didn’t have the brain power to enact them? What do I now? How is it that, at the sickest points in my life, feeling like crap, puking, sneezing, crying…did I place these feelings into logical places, enough to know I need to do things for myself? I’ve been projecting all of this energy outward...onto taking care of a relationship that did everything opposite of work: I put tons of energy into something that blatantly **** on me, why? Why am I scared to consider myself? I used to be so selfish, I used to think “me me me!”, I used to cheat, and somehow, I altered my personality to this imbecile, this random person, I became this pathetic little atomic wife: where all I wanted to do was a pamper his insults on my rap sheet.
I feel I just walked out of a coma. Like I’m outside looking in.
Usually after a drunken tirade with my ex (because no it wasn’t the first one) I’d be tryiAre these are my confessions? Emotional complexities?
Good Good, let it all out
Don't keep it all to yourself
You'll suffer heavy mental issues
That is a good first Step
Second step is to admit
Third is to commit
Find a way that can relieve you of your mental stress
It's ok, no one is perfect
You think too much...
and you need to stop thinking so much before you end up crazy and mentally ill.
go to church
and pray.
and stop using all these drugs.Are these are my confessions? Emotional complexities?
I don't think it's possible to think too much, but you need to stop with the alcohol and anything else you are using.
You sound like a very creative person, but for a while, try discussing your plans with somebody who is a more conventional thinker. Try to be more conventional in what you do. Some things you talk about are dangerous.
If you are using alcohol very heavily, go to a doctor for help.
I suggest a good counselor. You need somebody to help with reality testing. Don't harm yourself. You deserve a better life.
I was deathly ill on Wednesday. I came down with a cold and a fever. I snuggled to a valentines day bear for support. I always toted about having this ridiculously wonderful immunity to germs. I jinxed myself. Like an idiot. I decided to make a good decision and get shitfaced. I’ve had a sickness brewing inside me for a while. Self destruction should have its own title of mental disorder like alcoholism. I’ve never been the best sport when it came to drinking. Somehow I go from sober to stupid in just a few minutes. It’s very hard to gauge. This week I discovered the cure for the common cold is alcohol poisoning. If you can tolerate one day of total stomach torture, you’ll save 4 days on a cold. Bravo! I deserve an award. I don’t know how one night of drinking did this for me. It turns out, past that one day of total body purge, my emotions and spiritual outlook on everything changed abruptly. I was happy?
Actually, at first, I was terrified. May’ve been the hangover. The way the mind remolds after a temporary annihilation. I cried all day, I felt suicidal as if this part of me was slipping away. As if I lost my right arm, or an organic functional body part providing life. Yet as the day moved in its path, I started seeking counseling from my friends and saying sayings and asking questions I never did before. This strength built up inside me. A callous of an emotional wound I developed. I stopped crying. I stopped shaking. I threw up two more times. And then there was nothing…..
I don’t know if you’d call it happy. I’ve never been happy. Everyone knows I play my self-pity card as a food stamp to force friendships and conversations. Maybe somewhere between the whiskey shots, the pitcher chugging, the hitting on random guys and girls, the bar night and drunken charade I realized I’m something better than I thought I was, and it took a little sobering to adjust the shift. The mind works in mysterious ways.
The night of the tirade, I wore a thin snow cheetah Barbie dress, with red lipstick and high heels. I went to the bar with my wench of boyfriend. He didn’t want to be there. He hated my free love, socially experimental, conversational approach I take when I drink. Well, I guess it’s annoying. I don’t know. I may’ve embarrassed him in front of his friends. I may’ve made him feel like a loser because I was flirtatious. I may’ve just been an idiot, and belittled him. I may’ve gotten belligerent, childish, and vile. Yet, I think back and remember these are the same things he’s been doing to me for the past three years. These are things we’ve shoved under the rug in our relationship house of cards, and pretended never happened. Karma is a *****, and I’m not sorry. In fact, I feel justified. For once, I totally one hundred percent did not care what he thought. I am thinking about me, and I just needed a shiny example of hypocrisy to push me in the right direction.
I’ve been stressed over our relationship. I’ve been stressed that, no matter how hard I try; he will never budge on his inability to become a man. I’ve been in this crux between obsession love and my oppressed desires. I’ve always been the giver in this relationship, without nothing but empty promises in return. I realize, my relationship is in the same place it is when it started 3 years ago.
Yet now I don’t feel sorry for myself, and I’m not mad at him. I don’t feel motivated to write this out of a whim of tyranny about my radical oppression. I don’t feel I’m standing in a window about to jump from the high castle of capture. I feel I’m now embracing myself, and have shattered a glass leash I’ve held the handle to for years. Yes ladies, we keep ourselves on these leashes.
There has been something inside of me keeping myself down. While an obnoxious nuisance in a relationship is simply a maggot in the corpse. I’ve been doing some soul searching. I’ve come to my own conclusions.
I wish I had the answers to the questions. Is it possible that an obsession of so long can just disappear? Have these desires to just break free been building, yet I didn’t have the brain power to enact them? What do I now? How is it that, at the sickest points in my life, feeling like crap, puking, sneezing, crying…did I place these feelings into logical places, enough to know I need to do things for myself? I’ve been projecting all of this energy outward...onto taking care of a relationship that did everything opposite of work: I put tons of energy into something that blatantly **** on me, why? Why am I scared to consider myself? I used to be so selfish, I used to think “me me me!”, I used to cheat, and somehow, I altered my personality to this imbecile, this random person, I became this pathetic little atomic wife: where all I wanted to do was a pamper his insults on my rap sheet.
I feel I just walked out of a coma. Like I’m outside looking in.
Usually after a drunken tirade with my ex (because no it wasn’t the first one) I’d be tryiAre these are my confessions? Emotional complexities?
Good Good, let it all out
Don't keep it all to yourself
You'll suffer heavy mental issues
That is a good first Step
Second step is to admit
Third is to commit
Find a way that can relieve you of your mental stress
It's ok, no one is perfect
You think too much...
and you need to stop thinking so much before you end up crazy and mentally ill.
go to church
and pray.
and stop using all these drugs.Are these are my confessions? Emotional complexities?
I don't think it's possible to think too much, but you need to stop with the alcohol and anything else you are using.
You sound like a very creative person, but for a while, try discussing your plans with somebody who is a more conventional thinker. Try to be more conventional in what you do. Some things you talk about are dangerous.
If you are using alcohol very heavily, go to a doctor for help.
I suggest a good counselor. You need somebody to help with reality testing. Don't harm yourself. You deserve a better life.
What do you do as you watch your whole life crumble and feel powerless to stop yourself from sinking further?
I was diagnosed bipolar type 1 in Summer '05 after a tough year of high school. Got treated in-patient, put on the right medications, and life was gravy from '06-'08. Fast forward to today and things are on very shaky grounds. I've been meeting with a therapist from '08 once a week who is the only person that really understands me. I had a great Federal job for a year (I'm finishing up my last year at college), but I resigned because the work was mind-numbingly dull and I couldn't stand the bureaucrats, plus I wanted to get into an artistic field as opposed to a government position. Now, with the job market the way it is, I probably should have stayed. I've either cut ties with all of my friends or I have enraged them by isolating myself that I am their prime enemy. I had dated girls I met offline and other places but none of those worked out due to what I think are my personality flaws. My whole family is questioning what will happen with my life as they see all I'm concerned with is going to school, making films for class, and sleeping. I'm taking all medications as prescribed, but I'm afraid to change to different pills because I fear my condition may worsen and I'll totally lose control.
I've overheard on a few occasions (not being paranoid) some students in my class dissing me and generally showing disgust towards me when I do my best to show total respect to everyone in class. It seems as much as I want to come across as the 'good guy' and 'the nice guy' all 'happy inside' and hide my inner turmoil, people seem to hate me anyway. I got thrown out of a bar by force because I was misidentified by a bouncer for drinking out of a 'ladies only' cup. I sued the bar and settled for 200 dollars. A girl I slept with who used to date my friend said she would only continue to sleep with me if I paid her or did things for her, which enraged me. My older brother told me not to fix my brakes because they were perfectly fine and I heeded his advice, but got into an accident which ended up heavily damaging my car. Nonetheless, he hates me even more now, everyone is blaming me for everything, and mother thinks I am just jealous of all my brother's accomplishments. Oh, and I met a girl who I took on a date and found more/less "hot," came over to her house on the next day for a party...and got stuck in the snow with my damaged car so i had to walk home 6 miles, only when I got back she sent me 3 text messages listing all the ways in which I angered/disgusted her because I was stupid and could not keep up with her at playing "Cranium, which means you're not on my same level. Sorry. Bye, bye now."
As you can see, staying focused on making films is hard with so much drama in my life right now, but I feel it's the only thing that can save my nervous system from a breakdown. I'm just so troubled why all of a sudden things have gotten bad for me. I'm a really nice guy. I recently (few months ago) became a Christian, I love God, and I have always believed in treating others in the same way that you want them to treat you. I can get angry at times at home, but in public people have said I have a very positive attitude and cheerful personality, never seeming too down. What is it about me that could be causing people to dislike me in such a strong manner? What are these vibes and energies that could cause a friend of 11 years to suddenly proclaim his sheer and utter hate for me? Is it karma? Please, I am begging anyone for help because my whole world: from my mother, father, brother, to my college classmates, all my friends, random people that I'm meeting....people have such strong hate for me that graduating college seems fruitless if my entire life will involve these ups and downs of normalcy and insanity that are all out of my control. I have no money, no friends, no job, just apathy along with apparently no social skills (even though I've had quite a few girlfriends) and also I'm kind of overly talkative. Any feedback would be much appreciated...because when there's nothing worse than being lonely/isolated and sad.What do you do as you watch your whole life crumble and feel powerless to stop yourself from sinking further?
What you need to do is talk with your therapist about specific converstaions and/or encounters. There's no way everyone hates you just for existing. If you think you have problems interacting with people, try to jot down the conversation as accurately as possible, soon after it occurs, so you can take that to your therapist and go over what you and the other person said.
Ask God to show you your faults. You have to know what they are in order to change them. God may answer directly, or He may use your therapist. There is no such thing as "karma". You reap what you sow, and that's all there is to it. Most of the time, we look at the world through a magnifying glass, but we look at ourselves through 'rose-colored glasses', so it's hard for us to see our mistakes. That's what God and your therapist are for. Let them/help them both help you.
And, as for women- try to make sure you're choosing women who are kind, caring, nurturing, sympathetic, love animals (the innocent), and are responsible and dependable. Stay away from selfish twits who don't have anything better to do than play silly board games.
Good luck and best wishes!
I understand how you feel, more than I want to. Anyway, for me, it was a mis-diagnosis. Turned out that ADD med made all the difference. I have always loved to be sociable and help people and would talk a lot. And it was awful because I never understood why I put so many people off. I always talked alot, wanting to "share". Now on the med, I have much better self awareness and self control. I realize now, that I said and did a lot of things that were mis-interpreted by others. Things are going a lot better now that I am on ADD med. (I had seemed bi-polar at times before.) Maybe it is worth asking your shrink if you can be weaned off of the bi-polar med %26amp; try ADD med. I had to convince my psychiatrist, though it wasn't hard.
An ADD person was trying to help me to organize and she said that I acted just like her, when she wasn't on her meds. She was right.
I still have problems, but now the whole world looks a lot more clear to me. Before everything was just overwhelming and people avoided me like the plague, when I just wanted to be their friend, but somehow, I was just pissing them off. Good luck. I feel for you. I really do.
You can google Symptoms of ADD/ADHD. Try and answer the questions, the way you are when you are not on the bi-polar med. There are lots of different sites and lots of different styles of questions, it seems. Some lots of questions, I can relate to much better than others. On some lists, pretty much every question is a "yes" for me. Again, good luck. The first guys answer was really good. (I love animals!)What do you do as you watch your whole life crumble and feel powerless to stop yourself from sinking further?
Take charge be responsibe for your actions- learn to deal with it! We learn as a child- people can be cruel- their fault- not yours- %26amp; your the one paying for therapy sessions-- Learn to be YOU!
Learn that its OK if they critisize-expess envy- because you have the courage to be who you are %26amp; aren't a dam bit afraid to say so! Once your more relaxed with yourself you wont feel the need to be so talkative- protect whats yours--YOUR INDIVIDUALITY!
I've overheard on a few occasions (not being paranoid) some students in my class dissing me and generally showing disgust towards me when I do my best to show total respect to everyone in class. It seems as much as I want to come across as the 'good guy' and 'the nice guy' all 'happy inside' and hide my inner turmoil, people seem to hate me anyway. I got thrown out of a bar by force because I was misidentified by a bouncer for drinking out of a 'ladies only' cup. I sued the bar and settled for 200 dollars. A girl I slept with who used to date my friend said she would only continue to sleep with me if I paid her or did things for her, which enraged me. My older brother told me not to fix my brakes because they were perfectly fine and I heeded his advice, but got into an accident which ended up heavily damaging my car. Nonetheless, he hates me even more now, everyone is blaming me for everything, and mother thinks I am just jealous of all my brother's accomplishments. Oh, and I met a girl who I took on a date and found more/less "hot," came over to her house on the next day for a party...and got stuck in the snow with my damaged car so i had to walk home 6 miles, only when I got back she sent me 3 text messages listing all the ways in which I angered/disgusted her because I was stupid and could not keep up with her at playing "Cranium, which means you're not on my same level. Sorry. Bye, bye now."
As you can see, staying focused on making films is hard with so much drama in my life right now, but I feel it's the only thing that can save my nervous system from a breakdown. I'm just so troubled why all of a sudden things have gotten bad for me. I'm a really nice guy. I recently (few months ago) became a Christian, I love God, and I have always believed in treating others in the same way that you want them to treat you. I can get angry at times at home, but in public people have said I have a very positive attitude and cheerful personality, never seeming too down. What is it about me that could be causing people to dislike me in such a strong manner? What are these vibes and energies that could cause a friend of 11 years to suddenly proclaim his sheer and utter hate for me? Is it karma? Please, I am begging anyone for help because my whole world: from my mother, father, brother, to my college classmates, all my friends, random people that I'm meeting....people have such strong hate for me that graduating college seems fruitless if my entire life will involve these ups and downs of normalcy and insanity that are all out of my control. I have no money, no friends, no job, just apathy along with apparently no social skills (even though I've had quite a few girlfriends) and also I'm kind of overly talkative. Any feedback would be much appreciated...because when there's nothing worse than being lonely/isolated and sad.What do you do as you watch your whole life crumble and feel powerless to stop yourself from sinking further?
What you need to do is talk with your therapist about specific converstaions and/or encounters. There's no way everyone hates you just for existing. If you think you have problems interacting with people, try to jot down the conversation as accurately as possible, soon after it occurs, so you can take that to your therapist and go over what you and the other person said.
Ask God to show you your faults. You have to know what they are in order to change them. God may answer directly, or He may use your therapist. There is no such thing as "karma". You reap what you sow, and that's all there is to it. Most of the time, we look at the world through a magnifying glass, but we look at ourselves through 'rose-colored glasses', so it's hard for us to see our mistakes. That's what God and your therapist are for. Let them/help them both help you.
And, as for women- try to make sure you're choosing women who are kind, caring, nurturing, sympathetic, love animals (the innocent), and are responsible and dependable. Stay away from selfish twits who don't have anything better to do than play silly board games.
Good luck and best wishes!
I understand how you feel, more than I want to. Anyway, for me, it was a mis-diagnosis. Turned out that ADD med made all the difference. I have always loved to be sociable and help people and would talk a lot. And it was awful because I never understood why I put so many people off. I always talked alot, wanting to "share". Now on the med, I have much better self awareness and self control. I realize now, that I said and did a lot of things that were mis-interpreted by others. Things are going a lot better now that I am on ADD med. (I had seemed bi-polar at times before.) Maybe it is worth asking your shrink if you can be weaned off of the bi-polar med %26amp; try ADD med. I had to convince my psychiatrist, though it wasn't hard.
An ADD person was trying to help me to organize and she said that I acted just like her, when she wasn't on her meds. She was right.
I still have problems, but now the whole world looks a lot more clear to me. Before everything was just overwhelming and people avoided me like the plague, when I just wanted to be their friend, but somehow, I was just pissing them off. Good luck. I feel for you. I really do.
You can google Symptoms of ADD/ADHD. Try and answer the questions, the way you are when you are not on the bi-polar med. There are lots of different sites and lots of different styles of questions, it seems. Some lots of questions, I can relate to much better than others. On some lists, pretty much every question is a "yes" for me. Again, good luck. The first guys answer was really good. (I love animals!)What do you do as you watch your whole life crumble and feel powerless to stop yourself from sinking further?
Take charge be responsibe for your actions- learn to deal with it! We learn as a child- people can be cruel- their fault- not yours- %26amp; your the one paying for therapy sessions-- Learn to be YOU!
Learn that its OK if they critisize-expess envy- because you have the courage to be who you are %26amp; aren't a dam bit afraid to say so! Once your more relaxed with yourself you wont feel the need to be so talkative- protect whats yours--YOUR INDIVIDUALITY!
Confused...need some advice.?
So I met a guy this past weekend. It was a mutual friends birthday, and he introduced us. However I already noticed him because the second I walked in the room we made eye contact and it was magnetic. I don't think thats ever happened before to me that instantly. So I tried to play it cool.
I kept noticing he was looking at me for a while, So when I looked at him and made him aware I knew he was staring he flagged me over. He asked me for my number and we started talking a while at this bar. Then I began to mingle with people I knew and hadn't seen in a while.
He starting sending me texts, like "come talk to me" "your so sexy" and funny little ones about how our high school teams were rivals. So then everyone decided to go to our friends house when the bar closed. He had a few beers so I drove his car and a couple of our friends sat in the back.
Well I had so much fun with him. we completely hit it off..we got to my friends house and towards the early morning went into the br for a steamy makeout session. he tried to do more but I told him I just met him. But we kept laughing and having so much fun for the rest of the night. I havnt felt that kind of connection with someone in a while.
Then we all quickly realized there was going to be no place to sleep. so I offered to drive back to my apartment and him and his friend stayed over. well as we are getting into my apartment I get a text from someone telling me he has a girlfriend!
I confront him, and he admits it, and says "its an on and off thing" I told him I couldnt continue to kiss him, and thats all that was going to happen because I believe in karma and I just dont think its right.
He apologized and said I was one of the coolest women hes ever met in his entire journey of life and he hope that this wasnt a speed bump in something I really liked..I dont really even know what that means.
well when I woke up him and him friend were gone to work, and I had a text from him saying he had a lot of fun, and we wrote back and fourth a little and then left it as goodbye.
well now I cant get him out of my head. Im just wondering if I handled it well because he kept trying to kiss me, and I made him sleep on the couch and went to bed..Is he worth pursuing? Or should I just brush him off as a jerk and forget him..Confused...need some advice.?
Oh honey let him go. If he could cheat on the girl he's with to have "fun" with you then he'll do it to you too.
Think about it if you were his gf. How would you feel?
I like available guys only for pursuit.
You handled the situation well by not sleeping with him.
Wow if u had a connection with him talk to him and c if he is a cheater. If he is what a loser!!!!!!!!!!!!!Confused...need some advice.?
I do agree with you on how you tackled the situation. If we analyze it a bit we come to the conclusion that:
1. yes you had just met
2 things were moving fast enough
3 you heard he has a girlfriend.
To be fair on him as well he said: its an on./off. thing.
So lets say it is permissible to have him as a friend, just a friend; keep the communication but no intimacy. See how things progress and monitor his meetings with his girlfriend. Obviously do not get in the way or annoy him, just watch. The move on from there. You will get your answer on whether he is worth treasuring or whether he is worth dumping on your own merits.
You handled it very well actually. great job. don't pursue him and don't brush him off either, just put him in the back of your mind for a while. If he's still seeing his girlfriend then definitely don't pursue. but just wait and see what happens, again, you handled yourself very well, good job.
Hope that helped!
Good Luck!
well in my opinion it depends how you feel about him. If you feel as though there is a deep connection you need to talk to him about his so called "GIRLFRIEND. But if not then you all could just be friends, but thats it
I kept noticing he was looking at me for a while, So when I looked at him and made him aware I knew he was staring he flagged me over. He asked me for my number and we started talking a while at this bar. Then I began to mingle with people I knew and hadn't seen in a while.
He starting sending me texts, like "come talk to me" "your so sexy" and funny little ones about how our high school teams were rivals. So then everyone decided to go to our friends house when the bar closed. He had a few beers so I drove his car and a couple of our friends sat in the back.
Well I had so much fun with him. we completely hit it off..we got to my friends house and towards the early morning went into the br for a steamy makeout session. he tried to do more but I told him I just met him. But we kept laughing and having so much fun for the rest of the night. I havnt felt that kind of connection with someone in a while.
Then we all quickly realized there was going to be no place to sleep. so I offered to drive back to my apartment and him and his friend stayed over. well as we are getting into my apartment I get a text from someone telling me he has a girlfriend!
I confront him, and he admits it, and says "its an on and off thing" I told him I couldnt continue to kiss him, and thats all that was going to happen because I believe in karma and I just dont think its right.
He apologized and said I was one of the coolest women hes ever met in his entire journey of life and he hope that this wasnt a speed bump in something I really liked..I dont really even know what that means.
well when I woke up him and him friend were gone to work, and I had a text from him saying he had a lot of fun, and we wrote back and fourth a little and then left it as goodbye.
well now I cant get him out of my head. Im just wondering if I handled it well because he kept trying to kiss me, and I made him sleep on the couch and went to bed..Is he worth pursuing? Or should I just brush him off as a jerk and forget him..Confused...need some advice.?
Oh honey let him go. If he could cheat on the girl he's with to have "fun" with you then he'll do it to you too.
Think about it if you were his gf. How would you feel?
I like available guys only for pursuit.
You handled the situation well by not sleeping with him.
Wow if u had a connection with him talk to him and c if he is a cheater. If he is what a loser!!!!!!!!!!!!!Confused...need some advice.?
I do agree with you on how you tackled the situation. If we analyze it a bit we come to the conclusion that:
1. yes you had just met
2 things were moving fast enough
3 you heard he has a girlfriend.
To be fair on him as well he said: its an on./off. thing.
So lets say it is permissible to have him as a friend, just a friend; keep the communication but no intimacy. See how things progress and monitor his meetings with his girlfriend. Obviously do not get in the way or annoy him, just watch. The move on from there. You will get your answer on whether he is worth treasuring or whether he is worth dumping on your own merits.
You handled it very well actually. great job. don't pursue him and don't brush him off either, just put him in the back of your mind for a while. If he's still seeing his girlfriend then definitely don't pursue. but just wait and see what happens, again, you handled yourself very well, good job.
Hope that helped!
Good Luck!
well in my opinion it depends how you feel about him. If you feel as though there is a deep connection you need to talk to him about his so called "GIRLFRIEND. But if not then you all could just be friends, but thats it
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